Bucket Filling - Building Self Confidence

As mentors of youth and adults, we know that we are stewards and that we all share one challenge--the ability to learn how to engender self-confidence.

We know that service (empathy and charity) for others is critical in teaching self-worth.    This book has some good principles that may help our group create a way to personalize this connection.

We have purchased two books for our LFAA community and are passing them around.  We would like each of the key leads in the classes to join together and thoughtfuly/prayerfully consider incorporating a program like this with their youth.

Please let us know what you are considering and how you think you can incorporate bits of this into your stewardship.  

LISTEN To ME Skill Builder

LISTENING:  IT'S A Critical Skill    We all know.

Easy Tip!   

Tatiana Milne taught us in our Key mentoring class that a simple solution to non-listening as a mentor is to first stop before replying.

Then say, "Thank you for your comment about this..."

SAY:  "Thank you for your comment."

If we don't listen then that comment is neglected and youth/adults begin to believe their thoughts are inconsequential.

When you are seeking understanding and insights to your most difficult mentoring problems, it may be as simple as acknowledging that you are listening.

FYI:  This one is a TINTs and HIPs received from a visitor who has been in our classrooms.  I'm going to try to this better.    
 
The Zen of Listening - recommended by Lindy  


Readers will be amazed at how simply learning to focus intently on a speaker improves the relationship, increases attention span, and helps develop negotiating skills. Learn the great barricades of misunderstanding, find out how to listen to ourselves, discover how to listen under stress, and boost our memory. This is a fun and practical guide filled with simple strategies to use immediately to enjoy our personal and professional lives to the fullest.


http://www.amazon.com/Zen-Listening-Mindful-Communication-Distraction/dp/0835608263/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1401594504&sr=1-1&keywords=the+zen+of+listening+mindful+communication+in+the+age+of+distraction

EXPECT MORE--Changing Mindset

Jenn has been mentoring again.

One of the most important messages that I am learning from her is Expect MORE. She said that her mission president's last words to her were Never Lower your Expectations.  Rebecca Harper gave me an article from BYU this year that encouraged all the students to step it up.  Set high goals, do not underestimate ourselves.

Always set the highest expectation for your group and family because they will rise to meet them--wherever they are.

As Mothers we are encouraged by society to treat teens one way, as weak.  They are to be pandered, placated, and encouraged but protected.  Just STop IT - Uchdorf.
 
I still remember the words of a profound mentor of great worth, he was at the time the LDS/BSA representative:  Brother Poole.  He said, "Mothers, stop pandering your sons.  That is the greatest gift you will give them."

I had forgotten my favorite phrase for my young children when they had a problem.  "Fred, Fred, Use Your Head."  They use it on me now.

All of the great stories we read about chidren being successful weren't pandered by their parents.  Jacque Lusseyran (the blind 17 yr. old who led the youth in the French resistance) in his biography, "And There Was Light."  and also the book about the blind guy and his dog in the twin towers.   Thunder Dog:  The True Story of a Blind Man, His Dog and Triumph at the Twin Towers--(the blind man whose mother let him bike ride alone.)

The one instance that I am reminded of in the scriptures that comes to mind is when Christ's mother is searching for him, worried about him, concerned that he is not where he should be, and yet he is where he should be!  He was fulfilling his mission.  Don't worry about me Mom, I'm about my Father's Work.

So many times I feel the need to intercede--"Just Stop IT"--Uchdorf.  That is not the purpose or the plan.  It is to raise strong, effective adults who can do whatever the Lord has planned for them, no matter how difficult.  You Can Do Hard Things--Hales, May, 2012.

I'm reminded of the Army of Helman's mothers.  Perhaps what the mothers had taught the sons--that with God all things are possible. "They knew it to be true."  They had been given the chance to prove it themselves as they were faced with life challenges and allowed to discover it themselves.  They had been taught and they KNEW.

So the goal is to stop rescuing my children.  Carol Dweck says in her book, "Mindset," that to change to a growth mindset, that each day we should look out and say, "Thanks for that challenging moment, for it made me grow."


All these aids help us when we mentor--whatever example the Lord has called on us to perform.  I hope these thoughts help inspire you.

Book Review: Do Hard Things

They Can Do Hard Things

Video Conference LEMI 2012

Book Review:  Do Hard Things: A Teen Rebellion Against Low Expectations

by Alex and Brett Harris

16-17 year old homeschoolers

Consider the VikingPhilosophy:   Why were they so successful?  Unlike any other raiders who used slavery to sail their ships, they did their own physical exertion—rowing etc. They were physically superior and that prepared them in every way for the exertions of the raid.    (see the above link for the book colloquium that talks about the viking philosophy.)

How are we prepared for our future work?

Why Teen Apathy?

·         Early classroom structure intimates that success is sedentary,

·         It’s easy to not do hard things [anything],

·         Lack of Agency:  They have no opportunity to exercise choice with time, school courses, tight schedules, no free time to practice personal organization.

·         Youth find it is comfortable—It’s normal to be apathetic,

·         Video gaming brain restructuring consequences,

How do we combat it?

J Reuben Clark:  Don’t treat them like children; you must strive every day to have adult expectations of them and aim to achieving those goals.  They are our future leaders—we must speak to them as leaders. 

Training in the Three C’s to do Hard Things:

·         Competence:  We cannot have expectations without teaching goal setting, follow through and constructive time management and reporting.

·         Character:  We cannot expect this to magically appear.  Constructive courses in deliberate development must help youth craft their own character. 

·         Collaboration:  All leaders must work closely with parents to learn about the individual to collectively aid their progress. 

How do leadership courses endeavor to mentor this?  Raise the bar higher than they can reach.  TJYC

Why is this important for our community and for you?

Great Last Point:

Young people  can blame some apathy on brain development.  It is not complete, but one of the positive aspects is that because of that, young people think they are invincible.  If they were not, they would be unable to believe in [and to succeed at] changing the world.